I never know how to start these things. I feel constrained by the training I had: the five paragraph theme! Intro, body, conclusion.
But the thing is…do you want to read that shit? Do I need to introduce this, introduce this, or can the introduction just be…pithy?
For reasons unstated because it will take too fucking long, I’m thinking about the connections between Information theory (I don’t know much about it, but am curious), Chaos, the Yoga Sutras, and the meaning of life. WELCOME TO CHOCO’S CAFE!
Yoga Sutra 1.51
With the stilling of even this impression, every impression is wiped out, and there is nirbija (seedless) samadhi.
I can’t explain it all right now. 1) I don’t know it well enough 2) Like I said before, it will take too fucking long. But the gist of it is: there are levels of “samadhi” – contemplation/superconsciousness. They are achieved through meditation. They get progressively more…engrossing (not sure if that’s the word I want here, but we’ll go with it). If you stick with meditation and these practices, then perhaps, one day, you will realize this kind of samadhi (superconsciousness) where all of your biases, all of your triggers, your traumas, everything you think you are is wiped out. And then, you are left with seedless samadhi (superconsciousness). Doi.
While studying this, I’m inclined to just roll my eyes and assume it’s the idea of another charlatan or stoic/saint. (I kind of have the spiritual world divided into those two categories at this point). Charlatans are always preaching the virtues of sainthood… but for everything to just “go away” and me be unaffected by life like a saintly stoic…sounds shitty. Also, it honestly sounds delusional/impossible. It just sounds like a good, tax-free business model.
But, since we’re trying to understand (no need to believe or doubt, I just want to remain curious), let’s just remain curious.
The vedas describe this concept as follows: “Brahman [the Absolute or “God”] is One without a second.” … all there is is “God.” All there is is all of this.
Christianity Is Constipating My Brain
It’s so hard for me to think in terms of the Yoga Sutras because I grew up Mormon. Mormonism is hyper-individualistic. According to Mormon belief (I deign to call it theology since it always has been, since day one, a con), “As man now is, God once was: As God now is, man may be.” – Lorenzo Snow (I only linked because…because I want you to believe me).
Of course, I didn’t really think too hard about this teaching, I simply accepted it as is. Because becoming like God is a boys-only club. It has nothing to do with a woman being a liberated, celestial being. No. In Mormonism, a woman in heaven is essentially a bitch in a puppy mill—caged, impregnated, in labor, ad infinitum. Absolutely celestial!
The point is: As an ex-Mormon, ex-Christian, it is hard for me to divorce myself from my very anthropomorphic world/heaven/metaphysical view.
This superconsciousness, taught in the Yoga Sutras, the Self, etc. points to the idea that we are all connected – made of the same “stuff.” We’re not as different and individual as we think. I imagine that maybe we’re like an octopus. Do the eight arms of an octopus (which each have their own brain) realize that they are actually part of one octopus? Do they ever fight each other? Maybe we are like the eight legs of an octopus and there is a Boltzmann brain that is actually receiving the information from us. And not just us, people us, but all of us-everything us.
It’s All God – Even the Disgusting
That’s that. It’s all God. All of it is everything. The absolute.
Easy to believe and hard to believe. It’s easy to call the first snowdrops of the spring God. It’s easy to believe that the light yellow blooms on a stag horn cholla are God. That the wobbling fawn is God. That my dog is God.
But what about the dirt, the needles. What about the dog shit? What about the flies buzzing around the dog shit (how do they find it so quickly???).
How about the blue/green iridescence of that fly?
One Man’s Trash is Another Man’s Treasure
Waste? Disgusting? Beautiful? God?
Yes. We are alive, right now, because of the carbon waste of some star. We are alive right now because the oxygen-rich waste buildup of anaerobic life became too much—making way for aerobic multicellular organisms. Right now, I enjoy the waste of the braided money-tree on my desk. And it loves my bad morning breath.
The things I find disgusting are particular to me: an evolutionary defense keeping me alive. Not God. Not absolute truth. If I wasn’t repulsed by dog shit, then hey – who knows, maybe I’d be tempted to eat it. I mean, those flies sure love it.
Information/Chaos
So why? Why all of this then? For nothing? There are times I live in my nice, little optimistic-nihilist bubble, and I pretend I’m okay with that. That this, life on earth, is a big cosmic accident. That maybe we’ll make it. Maybe we’ll kill ourselves. Who knows. Who cares?
And then, there are times when my humanity tugs too strong, and I want to know why?
Today’s guess: it’s information.
What kind of information is exchanged from a rock to a rock? (I’m assuming more than meets the eye). And what kind of information is exchanged from a protist to another? (More than I can comprehend. Like…how does slime mold do it: act like a single celled organism then a multi-celled organism that is still only a colony of single cells?)
And is there an organism better at getting information and knowledge than the human?
When information is exchanged and exchanged and exchanged, even if most of it is just noise and static and gibberish, eventually meaning comes. And then, emergence.
Is that why? Does the universe want information???
If I keep this mentality, I can circle back to the Yoga Sutra. I am a part of it: a part of this universal data collection. A part of this high-entropy, highly uncertain, highly complex system, just getting the scoop.
Then, I don’t need to get bent out of shape on my identity, on the identity of others. I don’t need to get hyped, worried, scared. I don’t need to be a stoic or a sinner or a saint. That I can just live as this specific expression of the universe: me:
an Italian-American-Bastard-Ex-Mormon-Fillintheblankafterblank-Mom.
And then, yes. We are liberated. (Ah, but to an extent – to the extent of information and choices available). And then we can just go back to doing what we do best: being human.
Time for an other cup of coffee.